rezeki tak datang bergolek

i thought i am big and mature enough..but i'm not..i'm still young and still doesn't have faith in myself. i'm not confident enough if i have to go out there and start hunting for the job at this moment..i am scared of failure..i am scared of loosing things..i have low self esteem..that's it..i always think negative..oh come on!wakey2..i am big enough..some of my friend already finished studies and they are working now..some of them have got married..oh come on!

me: i am sorry sir. i don't think i can do the job since i am not good at bla3...
sir: bla3....even if u go outside after u finish ur study, u will learn the skill when u are doing it..
me: err okay sir..

p/s: now i realized that not everybody are gifted and talented at doing something..they will learn it when they are doing it...doink!

ku tak tahu

aku tak tahu la..
buat apa semuanya jadi tak kena..
ke sana ke mari semuanya tak kena juga..
mana diri ku yang sebelumnya..
adakah itu masalahnya..
entah lah..

semakin hari semakin lain jadinya..
mungkinkah itu tandanya...
mungkin juga..
entah lah..

semakin hari makin berperasaan jadinya..
kadang2 jadi tak beperasaan pula..
nak kata bulan itu,tidak juga..

entah lah..
apa nak jadi jadi lah..
aku berserah..

kaca vs permata

kadang2, kita rasa permata tu adalah terbaik utk kita dan kaca tu tidak bernilai bagi kita. siapa yg tahu yg sebenarnya di dalam permata tu ada rekahan yg boleh merosakkan permata tu dan mungkin mencederakan kita..kaca yg disangka tidak bernilai lebih baik dan bertahan lebih lama dari permata tersebut. kita mungkin hanya menilai dari sudut luaran tanpa kita sedari yang pilihan kita adalah salah. life is about making choices. once you stepped into a cave, u can either walk till the other end of the cave (it it has two ends) or u can quit and return. if u are half way through it, and u find it is harmful for u, u can stop 4 a while, and then make a strategy to face the problem. in this case, if u r brave enough and u think u can fight it, then do not quit. there will be a solution for u if u are working hard for it. at the end, what ever happen, do not regret and do not blame anyone else. u r responsible for the decision that u make.  “Allah tidak akan membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya" (2: 286)..

O Allah! I seek Your guidance (in making a choice) by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things.

pesanan

" Setiap kamu adalah pemimpin dan kamu sekalian akan ditanya perihal kepimpinan kamu. Seorang Imam (ketua) adalah pemimpin dan dia akan ditanya mengenai kepimpinannya. Seorang lelaki pemimpin keluarganya dan dia akan ditanya mengenai kepimpinannya. Isteri adalah pemimpin dalam rumahtangga suaminya dan dia akan ditanya mengenai tanggungjawab kepimpinannya. Seorang khadam atau pembantu rumah adalah pemimpin harta majikan dan dia akan ditanya mengenai kepimpinannya. Seorang anak adalah pemimpin harta bapanya dan dia bertanggungjawab mengenai kepimpinannya. Maka setiap kamu adalah pemimpin dan setiap kamu akan ditanya mengenai kepimpinannya. "(Hadith riwayat al-Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Daud, al-Tirmizi dan Ahmad)

Life is all about choices

xde keje, so berangan je keje..normal la tuh..what's in my mind right now is what will happen in the future..ok let's say after graduation, where i'll be..what i'll be doing..after few years, where i'll be..who i'll be..with who?haha.byk lah..am so excited to know but it will remain secret kan..kita hanya mampu merancang tapi Dia yang lebih mengetahui semuanya..everything dah tertulis..fuh, rasa excited yet nervous to know the result..life is all about choices and secrets..ada teman yg akn berkahwin..i just can't believe when she said she'll be someone's wife less than a month..i can't imagine if i were in her place right now..of course la not ready yet..tapi tula,semuanya dah tertulis..dah mmg bkn turn aku pn lg..buat apa nk berangan..haha.saje je mengisi masa lapang..=P

Ukuran baju badan sendiri
Kita tepuk dada ini
Jika dah nasib kita jodoh
Gunung tak lari ke mana
Apa nak kisah mahu hidup
Asal hati baik mulia
Kalau dah memang jadi mungkin
Apa lagi nak dikata

(tiba2 layan lagu xpdc)

ok,skrg i feel better..probs sikit demi sedikit dah berkurang..and now i have to make a choice about my final year project..i got few choices, but to choose the best one for me is hard!!i have to consider lots of thing..my capability, time, and resources..and again life is all about choices..if u choose the best option, u'll be win..if not, u'll loose...istikharah lah..hope that i'll make a good decision..

elaun jpa xmasuk2 lagi..xpenah2 ada prob before this..and i'm near broke now!omg..ni pon xpernah terjadi nih..so,i've to do sumting..i've no saving!sgtlah xbijak kan..i shud at least start saving since 1st year!hurm..some people will say, the guy shud have saving at this age, but i think that girls shud also do so..not just for kawen, but for everything lah..omg omg omg!hopefully everything will run smoothly this year..

enjoyable moment!nak mandi pantai lagi..thanks guys for the gud time =D

mood yg xbaik

semua benda yg aku buat sejak 2 menjak ni jadi xkena..bila mood x baik, nada penulisan pun bila orang baca macam xsedap.mcm nk marah je..apesal la aku ni..:( xberniat nak berbuat begitu..berlaku tanpa disedari..i need strength..maaf kpd sesape yg terlibat.bukan niat nak menyusahkan orang lain..but i've got no choice..

aku pening

in Palmy:
a day before, i got an sms telling that i'm gonna work today in Hastings..so ok lah..mula2 ingt terus nk beli tiket bas petang tu jugak sbb agent tu nk jumpa pkul 10 pagi today..tapi my fren nk g naik kereta..so ok fine..boleh aje..then, last night packed everything up, wake up early in the morning at 6 o clock, then driving all the way from Palmy to Hastings at 7...huargh..so sleepy.tapi xpe..ade keje menanti..dpt sign practical work report..dpt DUIT..hoho..so,drive la dgn mood xtau ape..neutral je..org kat sebelah tido sedap je..haha.xpe lah, nasib jadi driver.xleh tido..the funny thing is, bila org sebelah tu bangun, she asked me "tido ke?"..rase mcm nk pecah perut ketawa..:)) then i said " kalau kite tido sape yg tgh drive ni"..haha.tgh mamai la tu kot ye.so drive la,dlm 2 hours lebih jugak..then sampai..

in Hastings:
masuk umah sewa tu..then pegi ke kilang tersebut..amik seasonal worker card, then balik prepared the food and myself. during induction before start keje, me and my fren disuruh tunggu sebentar utk berbincang. I can guess y we have to wait. so ok lah..then both of the supervisors asked us whether we can take off the tudung because of two reasons. hygien and safety. so I explained to him everything that I could. but he cannot changed his mind. so I decided to quit from the job. That's fine..

then after that scene, byk lagi yg berlaku tp da mls nk recall balik..itu je main point.

in conclusion, I've got so many problems at this moment. mayb this is the lesson for me as a final year students in abroad. practical work. final year projects. accomodation mayb dah setel. alhamdulillah..my health condition and etc...i am in very high depression right now. and also i need some people by to be by my side.

Allahumma yassir wa la tu'assir (O Allah: Make things easier for me and don't make them difficult)