mood yg xbaik

semua benda yg aku buat sejak 2 menjak ni jadi xkena..bila mood x baik, nada penulisan pun bila orang baca macam xsedap.mcm nk marah je..apesal la aku ni..:( xberniat nak berbuat begitu..berlaku tanpa disedari..i need strength..maaf kpd sesape yg terlibat.bukan niat nak menyusahkan orang lain..but i've got no choice..

aku pening

in Palmy:
a day before, i got an sms telling that i'm gonna work today in Hastings..so ok lah..mula2 ingt terus nk beli tiket bas petang tu jugak sbb agent tu nk jumpa pkul 10 pagi today..tapi my fren nk g naik kereta..so ok fine..boleh aje..then, last night packed everything up, wake up early in the morning at 6 o clock, then driving all the way from Palmy to Hastings at 7...huargh..so sleepy.tapi xpe..ade keje menanti..dpt sign practical work report..dpt DUIT..hoho..so,drive la dgn mood xtau ape..neutral je..org kat sebelah tido sedap je..haha.xpe lah, nasib jadi driver.xleh tido..the funny thing is, bila org sebelah tu bangun, she asked me "tido ke?"..rase mcm nk pecah perut ketawa..:)) then i said " kalau kite tido sape yg tgh drive ni"..haha.tgh mamai la tu kot ye.so drive la,dlm 2 hours lebih jugak..then sampai..

in Hastings:
masuk umah sewa tu..then pegi ke kilang tersebut..amik seasonal worker card, then balik prepared the food and myself. during induction before start keje, me and my fren disuruh tunggu sebentar utk berbincang. I can guess y we have to wait. so ok lah..then both of the supervisors asked us whether we can take off the tudung because of two reasons. hygien and safety. so I explained to him everything that I could. but he cannot changed his mind. so I decided to quit from the job. That's fine..

then after that scene, byk lagi yg berlaku tp da mls nk recall balik..itu je main point.

in conclusion, I've got so many problems at this moment. mayb this is the lesson for me as a final year students in abroad. practical work. final year projects. accomodation mayb dah setel. alhamdulillah..my health condition and etc...i am in very high depression right now. and also i need some people by to be by my side.

Allahumma yassir wa la tu'assir (O Allah: Make things easier for me and don't make them difficult)

I'm not a girl not yet a woman

pagi ni, aku ditanyakan soalan dari sumone, apa pendapat if couple tu da couple lama, tapi xdpt kawen..and my answer was, normal la tu. kalau dah xde jodoh..dah byk kes dah dari org sekeliling..klu cinta monyet tu xkira la eh..haha..ni yg btul2 punye ni..ada yg kata bosan la couple lama2, ada yg belom cukup duit nk kawen, ade yg family halang la..mcm2..yg dah berjaya tu alhamdulillah la..sbb tu ada someone ckp, sbb tu Allah x bagi couple seblum kawin, klu dah xde jodoh, xke merana..xke rugi masa, tenaga, duit dll..so ape yg penting skrg ni? and my answer was, klu dah tercouple tu, xyah lah over sgt..sume nk terlebih kan..

org yg putus dulu, then sambung bila betul2 dah nk bertunang tu, aku setuju sbnrnye..at that time, baru nampak sket masa depan tu..even kadang2 tu dah bertunang pun boleh terputus kan..itu semua kuasa Allah..kite hanya mampu merancang..

second question, apa pendapat sy tentang org yg kawen awal? and my answer was, bagus la klu dah betul2 layak, mampu nk tanggung family, dah stabil..kang klu xmampu, xpsl2 jd cerai berai..itu lg teruk kot daripada putus cinta..nanti dpt title widow muda2 lg..ssh jgak tu..klu boleh, dgn satu je lafaz, dgn satu je perkahwinan cukup la kan..bahagia sampai akhir hayat..itu baru cinta sejati namanya..tapi kalau dah couple lama2 tu, nama 'couple' tapi mcm 'married' tu, elok lah kawen aje cepat..wat tambah dosa je watpe..

last night, mimpi ala2 kiamat mcm dlm 2012..sng sgt terpengaruh bila tgk ape2 cite..sbnrnye da byk kali mimpi mcm tu..even sblm tgk 2012 lg..semuanya gambaran di lautan..kiamat sbrnye mcm tu ke ha?berfikir aku sendirian mase terjaga dari tidur pg td..astaghfirulah..

and sampai ke harini, hidupku masih x berubah..msih xde keje yg perlukan commitment..cuma yg lain, hanyalah tempatku berteduh..=P terima kasih daun keladi kpd org2 yg sudi membantu..

and yeah, yesterday we went fo a walk dekat tepi sungai..tercapai jugak hasratku nk pegi jln2 kt tmpt tu from last year..and ptg ni might go there again for jogging with kak sharina..pics will be updated soon.

Through My Window

Don't want much, I just want everything
Thought that I could, do almost anything
One step in front of the other
Thought that I could do it alone

In the blink of an eye, it's just another day
Telling me why, I'll find another way
Got this feeling, got me reeling
I can almost start believing

Now there's me and you
And we are not alone
You and me, me are together now
Through my window, I can see there's
More than you and more than me

Me and you, And we are not alone
Different view, We are together now
Through my window, I can see
Our wildest dreams could be so real

I see a spark, it starts a fire
Is this the one worth waiting for?
Thought that I could do it without you
Can't exist like this anymore

Now there's me and you
And we are not alone
You and me
We are together now

Through my window, I can see there's
More than you and more than me

Now there's me and you, you and me
We are not alone and we are together
Through my window I can see
Our wildest dreams could be so real

my Territory....

from the previous post,i did mention that i really need my own space, my own territory..and this morning, when i woke up, i really feeel that i really wanna have my own territory so badly..so that i won't disturb anyone and people won't disturb me either..haha.

~mahu berlari2 di tepi pantai  dan bermain ombak~

faster....faster

oh my god....

i really need my own space, my own bed, my own room, my own territory right now..

so sad that i can't coz everything hasn't settled yet..

hate to be in this situation, but i can't avoid it..

oh time, now i need u to run faster than usual..

if only u could..

Tak faham

dah byk kali aku terfikir psl ni..sejak dari skolah rendah dulu, aku byk dpt tanggungjawab yg aku rasa mcm serius xpercaya..but it happened..it's real..aku pernah ckp psl hal ni kat someone 6 yrs ago..dan aku rasa org tu x akan baca blog ni.haha..selalu terfikir, why me? aku bajet org lain yg dpt position tu..itu skolah rendah..time skolah menengah pn sama..skali lg perkara yg sama terjadi..oh my god..bkn sng nk pgg jawatan ok..besar tanggungjawab tu..dgn diri sniri satu hal, dgn org sekeliling satu hal..mayb self esteem aku agak lemah kot..suka fikir yg aku xlayak dan selalu ambil kira apa org lain akan kata..aku bkn lah jenis yg selalu ckp, "who cares"..aku jenis yg cares every single thing..haha.ssh gak tuh..iyela,bila pgg sesuatu jawatan tu, mesti org tgk kita dgn high expectation..perfect.tapi manusia mana yg perfect kan..manusia jugak xboleh lari dari tanggungjawab..itu aku pasti.kalau org dah percaya dgn kita, kenapa kita xboleh percaya dgn diri sendiri rite..itu satu hal lg..but org lain hanya tgk kita dari dasar..deep in our soul, we know who we are..and we know that we are not good enough for sth..dan satu lg jugak, for me, in certain thing, it's hard to say NO when it is NO...help me.

New Year

happy New Year 2010..walaupun agak dah terlewat sikit,tp xpe kan..wish aje la..bila ckp psl new year, mesti akan ada org yg tnya,apa azam tahun baru? erm..bkn ke setiap hari kita mesti ada azam yg baru..jadikan hari ini lebih baik dari smlm, hari esok lebih baik dari hari ni..

dah lama aku x update blog ni..dah berhabuk, bersawang dah..biasa lah, pulang bercuti di Malaysia, internet terhad sikit..mls nk menyusahkn diri..lgpn xde mood lah nk on9 lama2..wat keje lain lg best..

on the 1st Jan 2010, aku dan Ayu sambut new year dlm flight..tepat 1203 am, flight selamat mendarat kat Wellington airport..Alhamdulillah, selamat..sejak 2 menjak ni, byk terfikir psl mati..yela kan, time kat Malaysia, dlm paper hari2 ada cite psl accident itu la, bunuh la..hilang suami, hilang tunang, parents, anak, adik, dan sebagainya..huhu. al Fatihah utk semua mangsa yg beragama Islam..ajal jodoh pertemuan di tgn Tuhan..sbb tu, time nk berpisah ngn sesape pn, esp yg tersyg la kn, air mata ni nk aje kuar..ada yg dpt tahan, ada yg x dpt..biasa lah tu kn..takut plak..i'm afraid of losing somebody..mayb sbb tu kot..

bila sampai je di bumi Palmy yg katanya berawan dan nyaman ni, perasaan bercampur baur plak..dgn homeless nye, jobless nye..fuh..sib baik ada membe2 yg nk tumpangkan..tapi sampai bila?bila nk dpt keje ni?bila nk settle psl accomodation ni? 2010 for me, tahun yg agak mencabar..mungkin byk dugaan..mungkin..since this is my final year as an Engineering student, aku kena pulak decide apa final year project yg aku nk buat..nk kena decide apa elective yg sesuai or meringankn bebanku di final year ni..nak buat decision adalah perkara yg paling aku lemah..selalunya aku akan ikut je apa yg dah ditentukan utk aku..bab2 nk memilih ni yg ssh..sbb aku ni akn byk fikir..so,it will take time..dan bila dah wat sesuatu decision tu, kadang2 akan xpuas ati pulak lpas tu..haih..cmne ntah nk jd org yg x complicated nih..huhu.yg aku harapkan hanyalah petunjuk dari Allah...semoga 2010 akan menjadi tahun yg terbaik utk kita semua..amin..